A Man’s Guide To The Embarrassment Of Buying Lingerie

Lets face it, we men are obsessed with women’s bodies and yet if I needed to tell someone the size of her breasts the best I could probably muster would be “just about right” and if she were to askmerightnow what her dress size was I would probably mutter that it didn’t make her bum look big at all. This is in part due to my ever-present attempt to gain brownie points and not spend the night sleeping in the kitchen with the dog, but it is in one big part due to my ignorance. Ask her what size my waist is and she could tell you without a second’s hesitation. It really isn’t that difficult to find out this information either and the list of instructions on how to find out would consist solely of:

1 – Open cupboard door.
2 – Remove appropriate garment.
3 – Check label and make mental note of size.

Even my brain could cope with that first thing in the morning but despite telling myself I should do it I never actually remember to. This could partially be because there is something instilled in the back of my brain that tells me the second I remove her bra and start ferreting around inside it, her mother is bound to burst down the front door unannounced and catch me in the act of apparently sniffing, or worse still putting on, her beloved daughter’s bra. This really isn’t a situation I want to find myself in but if I want to please her (my partner, not her mother) then I should do it. In fact, every man should do it. Go to your wife or girlfriend’s closet and find out her bra size. Write it on a piece of paper and secrete it in your wallet if necessary.

Of course, even once I know the size of her bra that doesn’t make the actual selection any easier. As a general rule of thumb, I’m led to believe that a black latex nurse’s outfit is not considered to be either lingerie or indeed comfortable so I will try to steer clear ofthatas

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